New Year, New Satori.. ?

Happy New Year! Wow, and boy did 2014 go by fast. Like winter, spring, summer and fall all happened in what I would consider a month by my feel.  I’ve been really noticing that my temporaltime line memory is completely gone. Outside of a week or two, I’m not sure if something occurred a month, 3 months, or sometimes even a year. But overall, I’m OK with it. I mean if I really try to think back I can get close, but really I’m surprised that the distance of time elapsed is warped. I do believe that time is an illusion. Really everything is happening in the Now, and I get it. That’s why I really was attracted to the Eckart Tolle “Power of Now” books back in the first iteration of my journey on “the Path”. Our brains are there to help us record past events so that we can truely live in this 3D world, but man the virus of the ego and mind allows us to also remember the pain, angst and negativity too. Ever so slowly trying to remember to be present is the true first step to enlightment and pure bliss. That kinda is a good introduction to my first topic I decided to write about: The Satori!

Satori | sa·to·ri | noun, \sə-ˈtȯr-ē, sä-\

Definition: Sudden enlightenment and a state of consciousness attained by intuitive illumination (representing the spiritual goal of Zen Buddhism)

I never heard the word before reading the Power of Now, but for some reason it stuck in my head for future use. I must have read that book over 10 years ago (there I go again, it may have only been 5 or so **chuckle**) but it was a while back. I look at the word for not as a goal of Zen Buddhism, but as a sudden flash of enlightment, so fleeting, yet so perfect, you really could feel like your heart is going to explode with joy and bliss. I’m sure it has happened to everyone at one time or another, it’s that little extra part of you that can step back from an event and look at it while your present body is experiencing it. Well at least for me. 😀 In the middle of it, you are like OMG, I get it. I get why I wanted to come here to experience life and Earth and the whole drama of it all. And sure as shit, both times that I have felt this, and experienced Satori, After about 1-2 minutes, the ego gets one little thought into your consciousness and says “Man, this is awesome, Josh but it’s about to end” and then I think the thought that is the Satori death blow “Oh No, I don’t want this to end” which in turn causes a brief feeling of scared anxiousness (in part cause you don’t ever want to stop feeling this) and BAMMO, it’s done. Should we be able to hold Satori for longer and longer periods, until forever is my definition of true enlightenment and the end of 3D Earth.

So what were my Satori’s, well one was back in the day on Path one, and one just happened last weekend at a little impromptu party I had at my house. Both different, yet evoking exactly the same reaction. So much that it finally got me to feel inspired to write on the topic. The funny part is too, that makes it kinda so cool is in both instances, NO ONE every would have known by looking at me what I was experiencing since both catalysts where so small and so ordinary that everyone else in that space couldn’t possibly witness what was going on in my mind, body and soul.

So Satori #1, during the Josh Path Experience 1.0, when I was commuting on the train to Boston for work and used that time to fill up on everything metaphysical. I was heavily into Casteneda, Tolle, and the 4 Agreements books by Manuel Ruiz. I don’t remember exactly which book I was reading, but it is must have been either the Power of Now or the 4 Agreements as for Path 1.0, those were TRANSFORMATIONAL books for me. Kinda like the first time I watched “The Secret“.. Well in fact, that may be another Satori for me and probably for others if it struck you as me. Anyways, back on topic, the book was talking about all the illusions and baggage we carry around, dragging behind us all on the “I’m not good enough for…  or handsome enough for… or wealthy enough to deserve” all those traps, and how they really can be dropped at a SECOND’S NOTICE.. with no prep, no classes, or blessing from a guru or priest, or whatever, just dropped and left behind.  It was the last sentence I read as the train stopped at the Norfolk station.. So I quickly packed up my book and stood up, all thinking about that last sentence when it did hit me, what if I could leave it all behind. The relationship bullshit I was in, the bad body image, the shyness, the whatever.. Just cut the chains attached to me.. and I could feel probably my first true rush of IMMENSE power as I’m walking towards the train steps.. I started to believe I could do that. and as I took the first step off the train, a song started on my iPOD or whatever MP3 player I had: Aaron Copland’s – Hoedown from Rodeo.. Other known as the themesong for the “BEEF, IT’s WHAT’S FOR DINNER!” yes, funny, but it was the PERFECT soundtrack to what I was feeling, and I remember getting an even bigger boost of energy (like you do when you hear a great piece of music), and it in looking up to a beautiful New England Spring day with the Sun literally brighter than I EVER have experienced in my eyes. I just dropped the weight of life and self recrimination and just BEAMED and BEAMED for that whole song, as I walked the .25 miles to the parking lot. BEST WALK OF MY LIFE.. I was connected and loving it, but as the song approached the end, and I approached the car, I could already feel the feeling waning, I got that pang of OH NOES, don’t go.. and Poof, it was like turning the volume from 10 to 1 in 1 second.. Still felt good, and was smiling, but back into my life, and about to drive home to a disfunctional relationship, etc. I vowed to remember the lesson I learned that day, and have kept it in my consciousness, but I didn’t feel it again as strongly until last weekend.

Satori #2, was WAY different of a setting, but who cares. I was at my dining room table, fairly drunk and buzzed holding court as 3 term President of the Asshole Drinking game with a bunch of WPI college friends. If you don’t know the drinking game Asshole, (Click here for official rules) 🙂 and come back, but basically it is all about getting rid of your cards first, but if you can’t play, get skipped you DRINK a sip of your cocktail, beer, whatever. I was commemorating my drink of choice during College (given it was mostly a WPI friend event) called Chenney Juice (don’t ask where the name came from, I can’t remember and have no idea), but basically it is any type of juice or sweet liquid like Koolaid or Crystal Light with Vodka.. This night, I was trying to be “healthy” and went with Ruby Red Grapefruit juice.. It was GOOD.. Anyways, Asshole is a strict heirarchical game where the President is gets tons of perks (making anyone drink that he/she wants) and usually gets set up by taking the ASSHOLE’s best card or two before we even start the game. The Asshole has to deal, get the most cards, and due everyone’s bidding while wearing a Tampa Bay Bucs safety hardhat (at least at my house).. I’m not sure where I got that hardhat being a big Patriots fan (someone must have left it), anyways, I was kicking but and the rest of the guys were pissed that I wasn’t throwing low cards, so they were egging the Asshole to “Skip” me by playing the same card as the person before him.. Typically the Asshole doesn’t do that as the President has power and if ends his resign with a Two (most powerful card), he can give to whomever, and in my case, I usually always give to the Asshole if I can.. But the table started chanting “Skip him, skip him, skip him) and hitting the table, Darryl, the Asshole,  reluctantly gave in and skipped me.. No big deal.. so the play continues and then comes to Darryl again, and the chant started again, EVEN louder, “Skip Him, Skip Him, SKip Him” and the evilish smile comes over his face and BAM, skips me.. I smiled and drank and then it happened, like a scene from a movie, the party, the scene I was looking at almost looked like it was going in slow motion as they raced to try to get cards down fast to get back to the Asshole.. And as the feverish chant “SKIP HIM SKIP HIM” for the third time happened, just l ike that, BOOM.. I was in Satori.. I was skipped, and I drank, and they all started laughing and high fiving and everything and I was just sitting there smiling (I knew I was going to win, since I had a KILLER HAND).

But during this brief period of Satori, I was fully conscious but just zoomed a little out of phase with my body and just admired the scene of great friends I haven’t seen in a while all having a GREAT TIME together (although it being united by their desire to dethrone me like King Joffrey Baratheon (Game of Thrones reference, BAM) 🙂  I was just swooped up in a feeling that this was a going to be a great memory, a great little piece of ordinary GUY’S NIGHT OUT, that doesn’t happen much anymore.. I loved all of them and filled my whole house with my light and bliss. I know they all respect and love me back, they were doing it just for silly fun and the reaction was more of comrodarie and festiveness and no malice. I don’t know why it struck me so, but it was like if you were the only one that knew you were going to die at midnight, and wanted to have one last night with buddies, just seeing them having a GREAT time in my house, and getting together after maybe a year in some cases.. Just precious to me. Alas similiarly to Satori #1, after a minute (probably way less actually, but felt like a while), it was like the bliss/Josh inner flood light faded, the scene sped up to normal speed, and the thought, “Oh noes, this is going to end” registered to my consciousness, and I was back into the game, back to “normal” 3D feeling, but with the gift of the moment in my heart. Of course, as it came around again, the Asshole didn’t have the same card to Skip me and I annihilated the table and the game and remained President for 4th term. But it got me thinking that the chances of them skipping me 3 times in a row with 5 people playing is pretty tough.. A gift from the universe.. Had a great rest of night, ending in a 2 AM bonfire in my firepit with a XMAS tree we snagged from my neighbors yard (don’t worry it was out to be picked up by local trash the next morning).

So I hope my little story inspires you to remember those moments and more importantly the feeling that they make you feel.. Like you could just explode with joy and never want to end.. Cause you know, we are all headed that way when we either ascend or leave this plane to go to the higher ones when our time is done. Something to look forward to, for sure, but I think it is the duality of life (with the lows and turmoils) that makes you appreciate the good while on this 3D experience on School Planet Earth. Just like they say, There is no light without the dark.. Well I’m OK with Dark being a stubbed toe or traffic versus the craziness this place can be. I choose to stay positive and light filled, like a Lighthouse, regardless of issues. I haven’t yet mastered it, but it’s fun trying. Until next time I feel the inspiration, I bid you all a giant loved filled adieu..

Be Well, Peace, Namaste (BWPN)

Josh

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