As I have written on many occasions, I listen/read to a whole lot of content on YouTube, Facebook, and other blogs on all matters spiritual, metaphysical, science, and other esoteric topics. Over the past week, I have listened/watched two postings that allowed me to make some connections and satori’s on the topic of unconditionally loving oneself. I have always battled with my self-confidence from as far as I can remember. I naturally seem to put everyone above myself and would pretty much default to making decisions that would make other people happy even if I wasn’t necessarily jazzed about things. It isn’t like I harbor discontent when these situations occur, as I do like seeing people happy. I just have always been in that peacemaker role to smooth out tense situations or unhappiness in my immediate vicinity. It is automatic for me as I can feel the energy around me and very much dislike anything that disturbs my natural zen-like state. I also automatically fall into what I call the “Sheep Dog” role in group situations while out with friends or with a group of people in general. For example, I’m the guy that is quietly watching and monitoring the situation while my (sometimes) drunk friends are going crazy and I’m making sure that they won’t end up in a gutter somewhere, or get us/themselves in an altercation. Again, I just naturally and unconsciously start to do it without thinking, but when I catch myself playing that role instead of enjoying myself, I try to just relax and have fun like them.
In addition to always putting others first, I have also spend too much of my life comparing my body to others especially when out in a social scene. On reflection, I have missed out on so many opportunities in my college / early 20’s where I have just shut myself out of the “scene” as the inner dialogue started to chatter away telling me that I’m not as good looking or fit as others. So why bother putting myself out there for dating?? In my continuous quest of self / spiritual development, I am finally in a place where I am starting to reclaim all this personal power I have squandered over the years. I am really starting to heal myself and value myself in a way that feels amazing. I really haven’t done anything profound to start to feel this way but I do think it may be a by-product of being on this path. Even though my body isn’t one you’ll see in a Men’s Health magazine, I have embraced it for the magnificent vehicle it is for allowing me to experience this 3D world and all that life has to offer. The inner voice that berated me for so long is now only an occasional whisper and if I do hear that negative voice I am getting good at ignoring or just smile tell that voice that it doesn’t hold power over me anymore. And with that, my body has responded remarkably started to “talk” to me more intuitively.
I have been blessed with good health (for the most part) with no broken bones, hospital visits, or major issues for the vast majority of my life. As I’ve crossed into the late 30’s however, I have started to hear from the doctor that some of my blood readings indicate I do have some issues related to holding on this excess weight. I think my tendency to hold onto weight is to buffer and insulate myself physically from all the empathic bombardments I feel day-to-day. But as I continue to feel that love for myself as I am now, something is starting to unlock in me.
I think my system has been waiting for this cue, and I’m automatically drawn to crave healthier foods, exercise more, and also started taking supplements that I found out later assist with the issues found by my blood work. It is like a switch went off in my mind silencing a lot of the foods that I naturally drawn to that were not the best for me. I hear the words “POISON” or “NO” when I’m shopping or tempted with the buffets of food I am exposed to in business lunches, etc. It is a not like I’m denying myself, it is that I just don’t want them anymore.
So back to a few channeled messages I heard this week. Two were from Jocelyn Daher and the other from Kryon channeled by Lee Carol. Both messages were discussing the need to think differently around your own self value and how the energetic systems are changing as we continue on this ascension path for Earth. I won’t go into the exact details of each channel, but will link them here if you have time or want to listen/watch them.. But as I was listening with 100% focus one night, a few insights came to me to give me chills.
Jocelyn’s posting: (Link1) (Link2)
Kryon’s posting: (Link1) [last 5 minutes or so really resonated to this topic, but whole channeling is good]
So in my last blog, I talked about embracing your inner child and in that message, I described the exercise I started recently where I imagine a version of myself at Age 5 sitting next to me on the couch, or in the car looking up at present day Josh. He is just looking up smiling and beaming happiness and the naivety/pureness of that age, just before all the indoctrination, mental projections, and self-doubt creeps in. As I look down at this project, something starts to come over me where can really start to feel a love for this little Josh that is something different than I feel being a big brother, or towards my parents, or my pets. It is really feel different as it isn’t another person, it’s Me! I just feel this instinctive need to protect him/me and want to make sure he stays happy and loved. Via this exercise, I think that I have finally felt my one of my first multidimensional experiences. The act of beaming love on this mental projection of this little dude next to me actually comes back palpably like a mirror, only amplified, like a giant feedback loop.
Most recently, when I got into this feedback loop, an enlightened thought fluttered into my consciousness that even boosted me into a whole new stratosphere. The thought message was clear and came from a higher place and said: “What you are feeling for Little Josh right now is exactly how the Universe (God) feels about you, How much it/he/she loves you!. There isn’t any separation! That’s an illusion. We are all ONE LOVE.” And with that thought, I was thrust into a stage of awe and engulfed with bliss. In this meditation, I focused on these loving feelings towards all the cells in my body loving them knowing they are a part of me and then, I just overflowed and just like a Light House, I beamed this One Love out of my body to all my family, friends, coworkers, and everything in the world, as well as the planet. I was really connected to everything and everything was connected to me. It was quite profound.
This experience has been a hard thing to explain and I hope that the conceptual nature of it isn’t lost in translation. The take away I ultimately wanted to share is that I think it is time for all of us that are on this lightworker or enlightenment path to really start to clear out any of the baggage we’ve accumulated and find a way to power yourself with unconditional love. Once we get there, we’ll be able to help others get there themselves until we live in a heaven on Earth.
I know that I have some more work to do and know there will be days that I’m not embodying these concepts, but I have found something that works for me. This exercise may not resonate with you and certainly that’s just fine. Maybe instead of using a 5-year-old version of yourself, feel the love for your dog or cat or spouse or child. It’s focusing and feeling that feeling and then turn that beam onto yourself and just soak it in, like a hot shower after a long day of work, at the gym or out in nature. Let it wash away the self-doubts, self-denigrations , and self-limiting behaviors.
Just know how much I love you all as I do believe we are all from the same source experiencing the miraculous exercise and simulation of being separate. This concept is really starting to take hold of me and I’m harnessing it for my continuing evolution. Very exciting times!
Love on People!
Be Well, Peace, Namaste (BWPN)